When you are stressed, besides realizing that the stress can help you reach your goal, as the stress hormones are actually preparing you for the task ahead, you also need to keep your mind aware of the here and now, not having it focus on the future (and possibly obsessing in fear) or focus on the past (and possibly regretting failures that cannot be changed).

How can you move forward with a strong positive can-do feeling?

·      Know everything is first and foremost, okay – for the moment, at least; all is well

·      Be concretely grateful

·      Reach out – or at least think about – someone you care about

Keep your “lizard brain” calm and happy by realizing that all is okay and you are “safe”.   If you need, do a few relaxation activities to help you, like deep breathing or the five-finger exercise for anxiety.  (Five things I see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I hear, 2 things I smell, and one emotion I feel- and then breathe deeply, focusing on long exhales) Finally, realize you have always gotten through these kinds of challenges and then move to gratitude.

Keep your “mouse brain” fed by thinking of things that you are grateful for.  Bring into your thoughts anything that you feel content and satisfied about; think about what makes you happy.  Is it drinking tea all curled up on the sofa?  Maybe it’s petting your cat or walking your dog.  Think about these things (or do them, if you can, but thinking about them is enough).  Be grateful for those things, and those moments.

Keep your “monkey brain” happy by “hugging it” with thoughts of (positive) relationships.  Think about a friend, a family member, a pet, a child and open your feelings of caring for and about them.  Maybe you remember times of being cared for, too.  Remember and enjoy those moments. 

This is key: how you think about problems and issues and challenges is what may (or may not) get you going and moving forward.  Starting by ridding yourself from negative thought processes and obsessing so you can focus on the goal at hand.

When you get to this point, you are then better able to make good decisions, and think clearly when in stressful situations, which of course, will arise almost daily.  When we spend all our energy fighting the stress, we hurt ourselves and waste crucial time and energy on something that can, in the end, help us to get to the next level, whatever that may be for you – and me.  Rather use the stress as a way of realizing, hey, I’m in a stressful situation, but my body is readying itself for the challenge and I can focus on the task at hand, even if it is hard.

I wish you a very successful week dealing with your “animals- the lizard, the mouse, and the monkey, in ways that are moving you forward.

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com