Do you want to grow, even in fall?

When you know your strengths, go in the opposite direction for growth.  That means gently pushing away from your weaknesses.  

For example, if you are big on doing things right all the time, allow yourself some slack. OR-    if you want to grow in your relationships and you are good at listening, try sharing and being more vulnerable for growth.

For any growth in your work, coaching and supervision relationships, you need to move in two directions and have a tension between:  for example with trust you need trust in the person AND trust in the direction of the work (goal).  When you trust the goal too much and not the person, the need is to work on the relationship.  When you trust the person, and do not focus on the goal then you should focus on is the direction of the goal and the work itself.  There needs to be a healthy tension, a balance between the two -- and remember that growth is found in softly and persistently moving towards where there is a weakness, and moving from your strengths and “comfort zone”.

This phrase: go in the direction that is difficult for growth is almost always true- whether it’s the “people vs goal(s)” dichotomy, or something else, like “perfectionism vs. getting it done soon”.

Let’s look at this example more closely:  perfectionism can be (and sometimes is) very helpful, especially when your job depends on it: think accounting and science and especially astrophysics.  But it can also paralyze you from getting things done, or make you wait until the last moment and then the job is a rushed one and the finished product sucks, anyway; it can lead to an over-developed sense of “I am what I do”, as well.  But “just getting the job done ASAP” to have it done can also be a bad way of working. 

Each extreme modus operandi is going to cause problems and may, in the end, make for an inferior work product.  

Thus, for many of us our growth is found in moving slowly but surely in the opposite direction.  For the perfectionist, maybe you can do something slightly less than perfect, or even “fail” at something: burn the pasta, don’t re-check the email sent to a friend for typos…. AND … For the goal-oriented person, focus on the person you work with to reach that goal, and for the person oriented types, focus more on the goal.

Here’s an idea FOR Both THE PROCRASTINATOR OR JUST GET IT DONE PERSON, try a plan: do a little bit of the (big) project each day for a few weeks, then put it away for a couple of days and then polish it up before it is due.  Personally, I am more of the second type and do really dislike the polishing part, this is very hard work for me. I like the get it out part.  So, I can relate if you are resisting the thought of my suggestion. 

Let’s try one more opposite dichotomy for another example:  maybe you spend too much or you are really a miser.  

If you spend too much, set yourself a goal of not shopping (these days it can be very easy with having to wear masks and not really wanting to go out “window shopping”, just stay off shopping websites) for a week or two (or a month, or for forty days) besides for food, of course. 

For the miserly try giving 1 or 2% of your income to someone - or something positive you believe in.  ‘Tis the season, anyway. If you give it to a person, you are very likely to feel happier - research says so.  And the precious amount of time we have, well, that is something to give, too, if you are short on funds, and that will make us happy too.  

For both the spender and the miser, giving and spending for another will make you happier- really, research supports it.

So where are your stuck points?  Where do you want to grow?  What is the next smallest step in the direction of “opposite”?  Try it out- for a week, or better, for about forty days to make it a habit.  See what happens.  Call me or email me for support.

Have a good week, or a season of growth!

Patricia Jehle               patricia@jehle-coaching.com