I have been focusing on resilience for a while and I hope you are benefitting from it!  Part of resilience is having the right assumptions and thoughts about the situation or issue.

So, first challenge your beliefs about what is true- make sure your thoughts are real(istic)

Here 3 questions to re-evaluating my thoughts and assumptions–  some alternatives that help for a more accurate way to see life, and that lead to a resilient life try asking yourself about the incident or situation:

1.     What is a more accurate way of seeing this situation is…

2.     What evidence is there about my thoughts/ assumptions- that’s (not) true because…

3.     What are the implications of the thoughts/assumptions: a more likely outcome is… and I can (do)…. To deal with it I must…

You must watch out for being too positive/negative, or for dismissing the tiny grain of truth, for blaming others (or self) too much,  for minimizing the importance of the situation — so, FIRST practice challenging your beliefs and putting things into perspective (at the end) then be concrete, stick with what works for you (or get help), don’t worry about speed, worry about it being effective- and it takes lots of PRACTICE

THEN:  When you are getting ready for something new to change, try this: mental contrasting to reach your goal and overcome de-motivation using Dr. Oettingen’s method:

W- Wish

O- (best) Outcome

O- Obstacles in the way

P- Plan (to overcome the obstacles)

From Goodreads: “Oettingen applies mental contrasting to three key areas of personal change-- becoming healthier, 

nurturing personal and professional relationships, 

and performing better at work. 

She introduces readers to the key phases of mental contrasting using a proven four-step process called WOOP--Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan--and offers advice and exercises on how to best apply this method to daily life. Through mental contrasting, people in Oettingen's studies have become significantly more motivated to quit smoking, lose weight, get better grades, sustain fulfilling relationships, and negotiate more effectively in business situations.“

Finally, make sure you agree with the pillars of resilience, to move forward:

Resilience Assumption “Pillars”:

1.     Life Change is Possible

2.     Our Thinking is Key to Boosting Resilience

3.     The Thinking must be Accurate to be Helpful (check your ABCs- next week)

4.     A Focus on our (human) Strengths is also a Key to being resilient (do what you can)

If you believe these pillars to be true, you are on your way to becoming more resilient and more successful.  Next time I will throw some more about right thinking and your ABC’s.

Have a wonderful week!

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com