When you know your strengths, go in the opposite direction for growth.

For example, trust is key in every relationship and going in the opposite direction of “what is normal” is the way to grow, almost always, even with relationships.  So, fi you want to grow in your relationships and you are good at listening, try sharing and being more vulnerable for growth.

Trust is key in any relationship but in supervision and coaching, the process does not work without trust.  So, what is this about?  It’s about two kinds of trust.

For any growth in your work, coacing and supervision relationships, you need two directions with a tension between:  for example with trust you need trust in the person AND trust in the direction (goal).  And when you trust the goal too much and not the person, the need is to work on the relationship.  When you trust the person, and do not focus on the goal then the focus to work on is the direction of the goal.  There needs to be a healthy tension,  a blance between the two -- and remember that growth is found in going towards where there is a weakness, not only sticking with your strengths.

This phrase: go in the direction that is difficult for growth is almost always true- whether it’s the “people vs goal(s)” dichotomy, or something else, like “perfectionism vs. getting it over with”.

Let’s look at this idea:  perfectionism can be (and sometimes is) very helpful, especially when your job depends on it: think accounting and science and astrophysics.  But it can also paralyze you from getting things done, or make you wait until the last moment and then the job is a rushed one and the finished product sucks, anyway.  But “just getting the job done” to have it done can also be a bad way to do something.  Each modus operandi is going to cause problems and may, in the end, make for an inferior product.  Thus, for many of us growth is in the opposite direction.  For the perfectionist, maybe you can do something less than perfect, or even “fail” at something: burn the pasta, don’t re-check the email sent to a friend for typos…. 

FOR Both THE PROCRASTINATOR OR JUST GET IT DONE PERSON, try a plan: do a little bit of the (big) project day for a few weeks, then put it away for a couple of days and then polish it.  Personally, I am more of the second type and do really dislike the polishing part, this is very hard work for me.  So, I can relate if you are resisting the thought of my suggestion.  

Let’s try another opposite dichotomy for another example:  maybe you spend too much or you are really a miser.  If you spend too much, set yourself a goal of not shopping (these days it can be very easy with many stores closed, just stay off shopping websites) for a week or two (or a month, or for forty days) besides for food, of course.  For the miserly try giving 1 or 2% of your income to someone - or something positive you believe in.  If you give it to a person, you are very likely to feel happier - research says so.  And the precious amount of time we have, well, that is something to give, too.  And that makes us happy too.  For both the spender and the miser, giving and spending for another will make you happier- really, research supports it.

So where are your stuck points?  Where do you want to grow?  What is the next smallest step in the direction of “opposite”?  Try it out- for a week, or better, for about forty days.  See what happens.  Call me or email me for support.

Have a good week, or a month of growth!

Patricia Jehle               patricia@jehle-coaching.com