Most people think of stress as the enemy, but it isn’t.

You can even be stressed and have a long life, as long as you see stress in certain ways.

Stress can be a friend and the stress in itself it is never the real problem.  

It’s what we think about the stress and how we deal with the stressors that is the issue.  We all have stress every day.

It’s inevitable.

Stress is ubiquitous and every day we need to complete the stress cycle (you have to do something – because “wellness is not a state of being, but a state of action”) to thrive. Here some of the best ways to complete the stress cycle:

·      By hard exercise (most efficient way to complete the stress cycle)

·      Through deep breathing

·      With positive social interaction: a coffee with friends, a beer after work, dinner together

·      By laughing (hard)- often together

·      Through giving and receiving affection: a 6 second kiss, a twenty second hug (Hugging until relaxed)- and many other intimate activities, when done is a comforting way

·      By petting your cat, walking your dog

·      Having “a good cry”- maybe watching a sad movie, for example

·      Creative expression (playing an instrument, making a painting, writing a poem, telling a story, dancing, sculpting… etc)

·      Body scan with tensing and releasing

You may have to do something at the end of every day… and how do you know the cycle is completed? 

Scale it and check.

Also, what works for me may not work for you, so experiment.  

But do an activity from the above list long enough, say about 30 minutes of exercise and do it for a couple of weeks. 

Remember you will also have to let go of the stressor, at least for that day/evening. Just think Frozen.

Those stress hormones hep you get the job done, by the way.

When you are stressed, besides realizing that the stress can help you reach your goal, as the stress hormones are actually preparing you for the task ahead, you also need to keep your mind aware of the here and now.

It’s best not to focus on the future (and possibly obsessing in fear) or focus on the past (and possibly regretting failures that cannot be changed). Be present-minded; be mindful.

Move forward with a “We can do it!” attitude.

How can you move forward with a strong positive can-do feeling?

·      Know everything is first and foremost, okay – for the moment, at least right now all is well

·      Be concretely grateful

·      Reach out – or at least think about – someone you care about

But be kind to yourself!

Don’t push yourself if you are in a difficult place, either because you are recovering from something (I know someone like this, who is frustrated at her tiredness and inability to work) or because life is way too overwhelming for you at the moment.  

For many of us, just getting through the day is worth a pat on the back, so be very kind to yourself A new yearis coming and I hope for the best for all of us for 2022.

Remember to watch your “animals, too.

Keep your “lizard brain” calm and happy by realizing that all is okay and you are “safe”.   If you need, do a few relaxation activities to help you, like deep breathing or the five-finger exercise for anxiety.  (Five things I see, 4 things I can touch, 3 things I hear, 2 things I smell, and one emotion I feel- and then breathe deeply, focusing on long exhales) Finally, realize you have always gotten through these kinds of challenges and then move to gratitude.

Keep your “mouse brain” fed by thinking of things that you are grateful for.  Bring into your thoughts anything that you feel content and satisfied about; think about what makes you happy.  Is it drinking tea all curled up on the sofa?  Maybe it’s petting your cat or walking your dog.  Think about these things (or do them, if you can, but thinking about them is enough).  Be grateful for those things, and those moments.

Keep your “monkey brain” happy by “hugging it” with thoughts of (positive) relationships.  Think about a friend, a family member, a pet, a child and open your feelings of caring for and about them.  Maybe you remember times of being cared for, too.  Remember and enjoy those moments. 

This is key: how you think about problems and issues and challenges is what may (or may not) get you going and moving forward.  

Starting by ridding yourself from negative thought processes and obsessing so you can focus on the goal at hand.

When you get to this point, you are then better able to make good decisions, and think clearly when in stressful situations, which of course, will arise almost daily.  

When we spend all our energy fighting the stress, we hurt ourselves and waste crucial time and energy on something that can, in the end, help us to get to the next level, whatever that may be for you – and me.  

Rather use the stress as a way of realizing, hey, I’m in a stressful situation, but my body is readying itself for the challenge and I can focus on the task at hand, even if it is hard.

I wish you a very successful week completing your stress cycles daily and dealing with your “animals“ - the lizard, the mouse, and the monkey, in ways that are moving you forward.

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com