Working with Communications experts makes me a bit spoiled. I assume everyone knows meeting etiquette and structure. But this is not the case.  Recently I discovered something that I thought everyone knew and followed doesn’t often happen- meeting etiquette and even agendas are not always followed, or even written, let alone minutes taken and shared with all participants.

So here are my tips for discussion at meetings (agendas and minutes ideas can be googled, so they are left out):

Suggestions for meeting discussions:

Have an agenda- A client last week said that the department meetings were run without an agenda or minute taking. No wonder misunderstanding is occurring.

Everyone participates.

Participation is meant for equal sharing and listening is more important than speaking (and it is still sharing)- look to the quieter people and make sure they share, too - don't dominate.  Remember (in Switzerland) not everyone is a native speaker and allow for silence- there's no need to always fill the gap with talking.  

Listening is a very valid and important part of participation.  Everyone has something valid and important to share and if it's not so “inspiring” for you, it may be for someone else.

More about sharing:

Before you share ask yourself: 

Is it true 
Is it helpful 
Is it inspiring 
Is it necessary 
Is it kind (being kind can often be more important than being right) 

Remember: language matters (rough and foul language can damage the listener and the message, critical language can do the very same thing) 

Sharing and listening should be equally important, maybe listening is even more important.

Listening ideas:

Remember to actively listen and honor people in your sharing - everyone is worthy of respectful language and listening
Pay attention- listen to understand, not respond 
Withhold judgment (a person has a right to their own opinion)
Reflect on what has been said (we all have 2 ears and only one mouth)
Summarize with, “if I understood you correctly...”- try to do this BEFORE responding
Share your thoughts (and avoid dominating the conversation) - take turns
Stay on topic – diversions make meetings longer

Something I call the FLOW in conversation:

·      The first person shares a point

·      The other person asks clarifying questions and the first person clarifies, when necessary

·      The other person then summarizes what has been said by the first person BEFORE going on

·      Finally, the other person responds to what has been said (non sequiturs)

With these ideas and some self-discipline your meeting may be much better.

And I have learned something very important: not everyone even know the “rules” of meeting etiquette, let alone follows them.

Have a great week!

Patricia Jehle               patricia@jehle-coaching.com