Are you feeling uneasy about making a decision? Just DON’T do it!  Don’t be like Nike, just for this once.

Are you trying to make a decision about something and just can’t get past some of the “ish” factors?  Or are you talking yourself into something that maybe you (or your trusted network) might not feel so right about- maybe you are wanting to just get that first deal?

NOT Too FAST! Wait!  

Look for red flags and ask these questions:

·       Do you feel it’s right, do you feel totally good about it?  It’s moral and good activity/partnership?

·       Do you feel comfortable agreeing to the terms and conditions, all of them?

·       Do you see all the outcomes and want all of them to come pass?

·       Does your body, mind and spirit agree to the total package?

·       Are there any (important) values being violated in this?

·       Are your going to resent the decision, the people you might be with- do you already resent it?

·       Are you worried about the possible consequences?

·       Is this a “repeat performance” of a similar (bad) experience that you had? How or why?

If you can answer these questions in a positive and wholehearted way, go ahead.  But otherwise, it’s probably best to turn the opportunity down.

Dr. Henry Cloud, Leadership Coach and renowned author and speaker says the above in his book, “Integrity”.  He also writes, “people deny the negative just because they want what there is so much and they cannot delay gratification until the right deal or situation comes along.” (my italics)

Here are some things we can do too fast and then must deal with the bad consequences:

·       Hiring too fast

·       Signing that job contract too fast

·       Getting engaged in a new project too fast

·       Starting a business partnership too fast, or any kind of partnership, for that matter

·       Buy a house too fast

·       Buy a business or a business property too fast

·       Make a business deal too fast

So, listen to your “inner voice” and do not push it away.  Do not make excuses for the downsides.  Pay attention to the negatives.

Face those negatives, even if it’s hard because, really, there is no shortcut to success.  Beware of fast tips and “tricks”.  They usually have poor “payment” plans.  If it’s really worth it, like our parents said, whatever it is, it’s worth the wait.  Wait for the “right one”.  Otherwise, we may spend a lot of wasted time and energy repairing the poor (fast) decision. So, do it, when it is right.  Or, maybe better, just don’t do it.

Truth and Decisions

I read a book a while ago called Sway: the Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior and this book shows how we can be dead wrong about what we think is a right decision, and this or “side” is wrong.  Here are some ways in which we get trapped in wrong thinking:

·       We are afraid of loss – fear of loss makes us make poor choices based on our fears

·       We are too committed to a decision and direction – we don’t like to change our minds once we have decided

·       We make poor first judgments about a person, a program, an idea and “cannot” easily change these ideas – the first impression syndrome

Are you afraid to lose?

Loss aversion can derail our plans, our business, our life.  It makes us focus too much on the short-term and not the long-term.  We tend to give up on things that we see as loss to us especially when we apply great meaning to that thing, whatever it might be.  We need to remember to always think long-term.  Short-term savings may actually cause long-term failure.  Also, always think and decide for the positive:  focus on maximizing gains, not on avoiding losses.  That means you have appositive view and will choose for more positive outcomes.  Defense of a “good thing” can lead to a siege mentality where one makes desperate decisions.  Decisions made to save further loss are to be avoided at all costs.

Stay Flexible!

Often we think that once a decision is made we should not change our minds.  This can lead to committing yourself, your team, and your business to a dangerous path with no way of escape.  Often this commitment to a decision can deter you from seeing healthier, more productive alternatives.  We choose not to look so we don’t have to change – either our opinion or our direction.  WE have to be willing to question our choices and direction, at all times.

Labeling is deadly

When we make our first opinions, we have a very hard time moving away from them, so it’s best to withhold our judgment for as long as possible, and to disregard others’ first opinions.  Remember, people CAN (and do) change, other people’s judgments (especially first ones) are just as faulty as yours and mine, and that if we label it is likely to stick, to the detriment of you, of your team, of your business, and so on.  We all know the story of the concert violinist in the NYC subway who was ignored.  Be very careful, or you will be caught in this trap, and it is a trap.

So, what can we do to fight these traps?

Talk about it with someone you trust (communicate with others, always questioning your motives and biases). Voice your discomfort, talk about your reservations, even with the party you have reservations with.

Think long-term and do not be afraid of short-term losses

Use data (and not impressions) to make a decision about a direction, a decision, and so on- do not let your (or other people’s) BIAS make your decision.  It has been proven, for example, that most managers make very poor hiring and firing choices based on bias. Even one word can label a person or a project.  Be very careful about your thoughts and words.

Judge and decide very tentatively.  Give yourself a self-imposed waiting period for decisions, if at all possible.  Remember, hurry is the enemy of good judgment. 

Be the dissenter.  It has been found that Group Think is way too powerful for an organization/team and can control a group to make very poor decisions.  So speak out when you disagree- and listen to the dissenter, as he or she may be right, and the whole group wrong (remember the bias/labeling problem).

THINK (and REFLECT) first when you find yourself in a conflict

So, think about these aspects of decision-making when you are in conflict with someone and you may find a better truth between the two of you.  After all, there are maybe even four sides: yours, theirs, the truth, and another solution altogether.

Have a great (rest of the) week, in Switzerland we are between Ascension and Pentecost- a good week for all, despite the rainy weather.

Patricia Jehle     patricia@jehle-coaching.com