Last time I talked about the seven deadly sins and how they are pernicious in our present culture. Now I want to talk about the opposites and how to cultivate them in our lives and promote them in society. First, here are the deadly sins once more:

Sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, wrath, and pride.

The virtues to cultivate are:

chastity, temperance, charity (or good works/love in action), diligence, kindness, patience, and humility.

1.     Chastity, also known as purity, is a virtue related to temperance.[1] Someone who is chaste refrains either from sexual activity considered immoral or any even sexual activity,[2][3] according to their state of life (though I do not want to suggest this as your next “way of life!”). In some contexts, for example when making a vow of chastity, chastity means the same as celibacy. Most major religions have chastity as part of their virtues to follow. A modern way of looking at this is: Is my behavior ethical and with a pure motive?

2.     Temperance in its modern use is defined as moderation or voluntary self-restraint.[1] It is typically described in terms of what an individual voluntarily refrains from doing.[2] This includes restraint from revenge by practicing non-violence and forgiveness, restraint from arrogance by practicing humility and modesty, restraint from excesses such as extravagant luxury or splurging, and restraint from rage or craving by practicing calmness and self-control. This would be linked to fasting. Some call the virtue faith, too, which makes sense to me. Faith, derived from Latin fides and Old French feid,[1] is confidence or trust in a person, thing, or concept.[1][2] Sobriety is related to temperance, too. Sobriety is the condition of not having any measurable levels or effects from alcohol or drugs.[1] Sobriety is also considered to be the natural state of a human being at birth. A person in a state of sobriety is considered sober. Organizations of the temperance movement have encouraged sobriety as being normative in society. At this time of year moderation seems to “go out the door”. An opposite of decadence is an attitude of generosity and sharing.

3.     Caritas/Good Works In Christian theology, charity (Latin: caritas,sometimes translated as “love in action”) is understood by Thomas Aquinasas as "the friendship of man for God", which "unites us to God". He holds it as "the most excellent of the virtues".[1] Further, Aquinas holds that "the habit of charity extends not only to the love of God, but also to the love of our neighbor". In Christian theology, good works, or simply works, are a person's (exterior) actions or deeds, in contrast to inner characteristics such as grace or faith. What have I done for others recently without thinking of a return “payment” of some sort?

4.     Diligence—carefulness and persistent effort or work is indicative of a positive work ethic, the belief that work is good in itself. It is easy to slack off when nobody is looking, who am I when nobody is looking?

5.     Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistant or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. Kindness is a topic of interest in philosophy, religion, and psychology. Kindness was one of the main topics in the Christian Bible. Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped".[1] Nietzsche considered kindness and love to be the "most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse".

6.     Patience (or forbearance) is the ability to endure difficult circumstances. Patience may involve perseverance in the face of delay; tolerance of provocation without responding in disrespect/anger;[1] or forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties, or being able to wait for a long amount of time without getting irritated or bored. Patience is the level of endurance one can have before disrespect. It is also used to refer to the character trait of being steadfast.  Another way to put this is being faithful and able to deal with ambiguity.

7.     Humility is the quality of being humble and humility is defined as being "unselved", a liberation from consciousness of self, a form of temperance that is neither having pride (or haughtiness) nor indulging in self-deprecation.[6][7] Humility is an outward expression of an appropriate inner, or self regard, and is contrasted with humiliation which is an imposition, often external, of shame upon a person. Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue which centers on low self-preoccupation, or unwillingness to put oneself forward, so it is in many religious and philosophical traditions, it contrasts with narcissism, hubris and other forms of prideand is an idealistic and rare intrinsic construct that has an extrinsic side. WE often put down humility, but a humble person is able to know what they can and cannot do, and is thus able to offer themselves for the work that is possible for them.

Then there is the Emotional Intelligence Quotient, or EQ to talk about. Many of these virtues are mentioned in EQ. What I find interesting is that Paul’s letter to the Galatians mentions fruit of the Spirit as love (charity), joy, peace (maybe the outworking of temperance and chastity and faith?), patience, goodness (all the virtues), kindness, and self-control (temperance). Hmm.

Reflect:

·       When, where and how do I need to be chaste in my relationships?

·       How can I better check on my motives?

·       How can I be more temperate and show faith that it is “enough”? How do I know when it is “enough”?

·       What kind of sharing or generosity speaks to me at this time of year?

·       When and how can I “pay it forward”? What can I do this season, this month, this week to benefit others (without calling attention to myself)?

·       What work (or volunteer) project do I need to pay more attention to, even if it “isn’t fun”?

·       How can I be attuned to others needs so I can help out when they need it (without creating a dependency)?

·       Who am I when nobody is watching me?

·       Where am I patient? Where and how am I impatient? How can I persevere in tough times? What helps me to persevere?

·       How do I deal with ambiguity?

·       Have I caught myself bragging lately? How about humble bragging about my heavy workload or lack of sleep?  When have I complemented someone (without any hope for payback)? How can I keep my accomplishments and myself out of the limelight? Have I pretended to be shy but it was meant to call attention to myself and what I was doing, really? And…? Humility is a hard one, as pride is the most pervasive sins. Just saying.

·       A famous man once said “let your yes be yes and your no be no”. Where have I either stepped back from promises (bitten off too much) or said yes to the detriment of all around?

·       ????

What I find most interesting is that I was just having a conversation about this topic (ethics) on zoom.

To move forward, we can focus on these Virtues and work towards a better good, for the society, and for ourselves. What is most interesting to me is that these virtues are very much like the Daniel Goleman EQ, or Emotional Intelligence and I will write more on this next time. 

Have a virtuous week,

Patricia Jehle

patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 

*The information on the virtues (etc) is from Wikipedia. The editing out, comments, and thoughts on them are mine