It is with a heavy heart that I post today - my question, “Am I insular or part of a wider community?” takes on a much more global meaning. Are we going to be alone in this world, as humans, (for me) as Swiss citizens), or are we going to stand in solidarity with the Ukraine? It is a very human and normal response tol hide, but now is not the time.

Today, let us be a community of humans supporting other humans to protect their right to live and be a democracy. Today I ask you to think how you can support our fellow work community members in the Ukraine, in Myanmar, - in Syria, in Ethiopia, and so on.

Below is my regular blog post, written last week, that helps us to move out in our respective communities:

Alone, and yet not alone.  Connected --or not? A Controlled Distance?

Are you feeling lonely? Maybe you need to get out of your virtual world and DO something with HUMANS again – face to face.

Or is your life more like this:

“I share, therefore I am”

In the midst of the “connected virtual world”, I am thinking about our relationships - and businesses, and how social media and gaming affects us.  

COVID has really messed up our relationships even more, I think.

So, are we connected or disconnected?  What causes disconnect?

Maybe you think (via the world wide web and social media) that you are connected with people.  

But have you met anyone real and talked to them face to face lately?

We need to re-connect and to connect, in general. It’s vital for our health, emotionally, mentally and physically.

No more cocooning!

So, what can you do to (re-)connect?  

Here are some simple ideas:

Make the “dining room” sacred.

Don’t let the phones on the tables in the rooms where you eat.  Have real human conversations at the dinner table.  Invite people over.

What if you are alone at home? Make time to eat with people either at a restaurant or in one of your homes - and no phones on that table, etc. 

Make a date or two and don’t cancel.

Only check your email once (or twice) a day when you are not working (for the old-fashioned, that means don’t check at the weekend).  

Only text at certain times of the day, for example during breaks or, for me, on the bus and train.  

This will give you time to be creative at work, to read your books and articles and be uninterrupted, to talk with important colleagues and connect with family/friends and to even just “be”.

Meet people for coffee, lunch and/or dinner and turn your phone on silent, or better, GASP, off. 

Or go for walks with friends and family.

A friend recently said something to the fact that all her “people” were online relationships. 

This is a red flag, my dears! 

Meeting face to face will give you the needed human interaction that we all need.

Join a real group (not a virtual one) of business-people (a Mastermind, a Rotary or Lions group)- some group of people who you can relate to.  I help with Masterminds, by the way. 

Join a walking or another sport group.  You can’t use your phones while playing volleyball.  
With this move you will kill two birds with one stone: health needs and interpersonal needs.  I will be taking a one-on-one Feldenkreis course for three weeks and an eight-week meditative dance course, and both are really exciting for me.

Join a club or a writing/book club.  My friend joined a book club and feels better connected these days.  We both love books.  Maybe you want to take a course on writing or other creative arts.

Join a religious organization.  Research says that religious people are happier.  Just saying.

AND ESPCEIALLY:

Learn how to be alone, and self-reflect. 

To be connected, we need to connect with ourselves, first.  We then can become self-aware and aware of our relationships and what we need in these relationships.  

Being alone, in a reflective way (not online, keeping busy, Netflix binging) can help us become aware of when we are being too insular, too afraid to move out of the text zone and into the talk zone.  

Let’s meet people again – in person!

When you want to make a plan and receive support to “re-enter” the real word and leave the virtual world where it is: virtual, give me a shout.

Have a great week making a plan and meeting up!

Patricia Jehle              patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 PS reflecting before action is always the best, even in times of wa, though the time to reflect may be rather short. Think and analyze before doing. (this PS is also written after the fact).