It is what it is … or is it?

What can we control?

What can we influence?

What is out of our control?

What we can control (usually) is my response to what I can influence and what I cannot control.

For instance, I have been home with a cold for the last few days, and this is rather sad because I missed a Coworking Community Day yesterday where a colleague was speaking on his experience leading Agile Teams. Plus, there were other interesting topics addressed over the day, too. But I was coughing and sneezing and rather “catchy”. These days common courtesy says to “stay home when you can”. I could control this, so I stayed home and have only infected my family. I am disappointed to have missed out on a cool activity, but I tried to make the most of things and ate healthy meals, drank lots of ginger tea and went to be early. I do not (yet) feel better, and so I remain at home today rather than being out and about. My cold “is what it is” but I can hopefully influence my recovery, too by the activities I mentioned above. It is what it is for me, but for my colleagues, they are “far away” from me and if they catch something, I can say, I did my part.

What we can control is all about us: our actions and reactions. Are we being proactive and doing our “pre-mortems”? Or are we living on the “re-active” side of life?

Do we think ahead and do our best to prepare and make Plan A work, have a Plan B and C… or do we go with the flow and hope everything goes “Our Way”. How do we respond when things (like illness) get in the way of our hopes and plans?

What about our influence? This is where we have some control often because of RELATIONSHIP or because other people have more control over the issue than we do. Take my students, for example.

This week my first semester students had their English exam. I control the questions and they have partial control by a) attending class, b) doing the homework and the online extra study work, and c) studying the vocabulary lists and grammar points. They have influence on their mark but not control.

I think you understand the concept, which is not mine, but Stephen Covey’s from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – a book worth reading, if you haven’t yet done so.

So, this week I wish you an effective one where you take control of what you can and influence what is possible.

Also, Happy Lunar New Year! Chúc mừng Năm Mọi (in Vietnamese)

Patricia Jehle                           patricia@jehle-coaching.com