You know him, you know her.

Here’s the SCENE:

They are on a flight and the emergency oxygen masks come down. The are so busy helping those around them: he is with his young child; she is with a parent or someone who cannot put on the masks by themselves. They are worried about their responsibilities and are taking their responsibilities seriously. But neither of them takes care of themselves and they die.

They have no more oxygen to survive, let alone, thrive.

“Stop!”, you shout. “This isn’t realistic.”

But it is. Not, maybe on an airplane, but in everyday life.  I have clients who do this: care for their jobs, their businesses, for their family, but not for themselves.

“But they don’t die,” you say.

They do die: it’s called burnout.

Or they lose their relationships, that which is most dear to them.

Or they lose themselves.

So, how do people avoid this situation?

There are many ways to prevent burnout and to increase resilience. Increasing resilience.

Usually it starts with a wee “no”.

Maybe you even still must “do it”, but hopefully your boss or co-worker has finally heard that you actually do not want to do something.  Maybe they will think a second time before just assuming you will do that thing.

Or maybe you must reset that launch date.  It is killing you and you haven’t had a good night’s rest in weeks. So, you disappoint your funders and potential customers and says it must be launched later than expected. 

It is still better than landing in the hospital before the launch and postponing the launch time for an even later date.

Maybe you take those high expectations off your shoulders (that possibly nobody else has, anyway) and take a personal health day.

Maybe good enough should be just that this time: good enough.

You have to start somewhere; try saying (at least to yourself):

·      I am afraid I cannot do this until next week

·      The launch will be postponed for a month

·      I am serving bought cake with ice cream for dessert this evening

·      I don’t have to … to be good enough, and today I will aim for good enough

·      Tonight, I am going to stay home, eat toast, put on my PJs and read a book and not answer emails or texts

You have got the idea, now. 

For some of you (the perfectionists, the people pleasers, the ones who want to get better and better, to produce more and more, be more and more efficient) this is a good challenge. 

Did you know that even the big minimalist guru Marie Kondo has admitted a defeat of sorts? Being perfect is inhuman and inhumane.

So, start with this: make a so-so dinner or let go of the need to triple check the spell check. Start small but let something go.

Then replace that something that is good for you, and nobody else.

Tell me how it goes.

Have a great week letting the little things go and deciding when even those “big things” need to be dealt with “second”. If you want to deal with those things, make sure your own oxygen mask is on, first.

Patricia Jehle               patricia@jehle-coaching.com