That in-between (liminal) space
That in-between time.
It’s hard, the waiting.
Liminal Space is what it is often called.
“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind
That in-between time is a place of waiting.
There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…
There are also emotional liminal spaces: graduation, illnesses, deaths of loved ones, job searches, divorce and separation, moving, waiting for that phone call,
COVID19…
and the Ukraine Crisis… and…
Though in-between times can be very difficult, there is something positive about this liminal space because we learn a lot about ourselves and our (negative and positive) patterns of coping in stressful situations.
Liminal space can be a catalyst for change, if dealt with well.
But how?
Don’t run away from the discomfort, first and foremost.
As Brene Brown so clearly says:
“One of the most valuable gifts in my life was from my mom. She taught us to never look away from pain. The lesson was simple and clear:
Don’t look away. Don’t look down.
Don’t pretend not to see hurt.
Look people in the eye.
Even when their pain is overwhelming.
And when you’re hurting and in pain, find people who can look you in the eye.”
Paying attention, is very key:
- what am I thinking and doing and is it a negative pattern that I recognizer from another liminal space?
- Reflect on your thoughts and emotions in this time.
Then get a bit into your body, practice a body scan and do some breathing exercises to get calm.
Finally, reflect on the space without catastrophizing it.
Accept it, that liminal space.
Let the “in-between” time be.
When you are ready:
Write about it or draw it or sing it or dance it out to “portray” your situation.
By accepting and then expressing your situation, you can start moving on, slowly but surely. If you “fight” it, there is little interacting with the reality of the moment and growth (and change) cannot happen.
Then, notice if there are any patterns coming clear to you.
This acceptance also allows you to start changing your patterns of action, as you notice them, too.
Many of us are in a liminal space - or will be soon. Some of us feel like we have been in that in-between space for two years. That discomfort is real and very understandable.
It is uncomfortable to be in a liminal space but can be a catalyst for positive change if we choose to embrace the discomfort.
It may bring about some positive change.
Change is like that liminal space: difficult, uncomfortable, and often necessary, even though it is usually “forced” upon us. Take the opportunity this week to wrestle in your liminal spaces.
Stay in the space, accept it and then “portray” it, and then notice your reactions and your (negative and positive) patterns.
This process might be the beginning of something new. Something great.
And when you need help, call on me.
Patricia Jehle