Dealing with your COVID trauma and grief
How are you coping these days with all the lockdown(s) and with all the cancellations and goodbyes to “fun plans”? COVID-lockdown is still a reality and it’s been a year, now.
Maybe you are in the UK, Germany, Malaysia (or me here in Switzerland) and have been under lockdown for months. Maybe you are only having a few days of lockdown, like New Zealand- but either way, it’s difficult and “life as we know it” has been and is still being cancelled daily. People forget what day it is and what’s happening next because there are no milestones to note, no special times and days to set things apart.
People grieve the cancellation of most everything. Or the activity moves online and then it’s just not as “good” as it could have been and there is still loss. Lots of loss. That loss must be grieved to move forward.
But there is also a lot of trauma happening, and I personally know of people who have lost parents and couldn’t get to the funeral; that’s not just loss and griefwork, but it’s real trauma.
There’s also trauma when you are cooped up in an apartment for days (and months) on end, and especially the teens, who need to get out and away from their parent (it’s a normal developmental thing)- they seem to be suffering the most this past year.
Then there’s the fear of getting the plague. That can also be traumatic. I know people who are totally stressed and can hardly function because of this.
My friend the therapist says it’s been very difficult for her clients and I believe her.
The grief must be processed and that takes time.
But the trauma? What can you do with your trauma?
Try journaling. Here are some steps:
JOURNALING for healing from trauma:
• Write about the same topic for FOUR days for TWENTY minutes each day.
• Write continuously without stopping for those twenty minutes
• Write only for yourself (research says sharing it can be re-traumatizing)
• Follow the “Flip-out rule”: if you feel like you cannot write about a particular event because it might “push you over the edge”, don’t write. Only deal with events/situations you can handle at the time. When you are ready, you can write about your trauma, but not before.
• After those four days, review your writing for specific patterns, for if you have changed and for next steps.
These points are based on “Writing to Heal” by James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D.
If you want to find out more about how to deal with your grief and trauma, and your stress and resilience, don’t hesitate to contact me.
May you have a happier and healthier week - and month,
Patricia Jehle patricia@jehle-coaching.com
