Helpful thinking
We really have a lot more control of our minds than we think. I have been reading a book called “Learned Hopefulness” (2020) by Dan Tomasulo and being reminded of what is important to create resilience, and even better hopefulness for the future. “Positive images of the future carry us forward to our destiny.”
Negativity is learned (and can become our default mode). When we only focus on a fixed-pie kind of world (I get 20%, so there is 80% left for the rest), we cannot really grow and move forward. When I move towards hope and the positive opportunity in front of me, I can.
More about how to not “fight” these thoughts and emotions but accept and move on next week. We will all have negative thoughts during the day, and it is normal. What is important is to accept and move on to something else. One of the ways we become more positive is to see what is good around us.
One of the parts of the above book that struck me is the PPFs I purport are there:
The PPFs explained:
PAST: Remember the past and be grateful, PRESENT: Savor what we have in the present and FUTURE: Anticipate the good things the future holds with hope.
Why don’t you try PPFs:
What can you remember from the past right now that brings you joy? Where is that joy coming from? Let it come and enjoy the past experience once more. Mayb3e you can write this experience won in a journal.
Then what can you savor right now? Maybe it’s a cup of coffee or tea during your mid-morning or afternoon break. Maybe you can go for a walk and enjoy the beauty surrounding you. Maybe you can take a break and listen to some positive music. Pay attention to the pleasure you feel in the here and now. Be slower and more intentional about your choice and notice your body, mind and emotions.
What can you look forward to? Perhaps it is a planned holiday, to spring coming (and being in a garden), or to spending time with someone you care about.
Now, make a PPF Plan for next week:
You need to make a plan to remember the past, savor the present and anticipate a hopeful future and practice it. If you do make PPFs a habit, it will help you get through tough times.
Everyone knows it’s hard to make changes, so I give you these three tips to plan a change:
· Make a plan how you are going to set PPFs in motion. Maybe it is PPFs once or twice a day (or even three times!).
· Tell a friend for support- and allow them to check up on you.
· Fix your environment for positive success (eg: turn off the news until further notice, or buy treats to savor)
· Journal what your PPFs are for the next three weeks and see what happens.
Remember what you think you become. This truth was brought to my attention again when I read Tomasulo’s book.
Thus, ask yourself daily: what am I focusing on? How am I responding to the situation? To my environment? To my thoughts and emotions?
Also, here are a few tips to help you remain more positive, in general:
· Smile more. There is research that proves that if your carry your body in a certain way, it can change your mood. Smiling makes you more positive. Ask Amy Cuddy. Set the timer every 120 minutes and when the bell rings smile for a minute. See what happens after a week and after three weeks.
· Stand like Wonder Woman. No joke. This really also gives you the positive power and presence you might need today to get out there and “win one for the Gipper”. Try it—but perhaps at home or in the bathroom, not in front of those you will be presenting to. Do it every day for a minute at the beginning of your day and see what happens after a week, and after three weeks.Also, here are a few tips to help you remain more positive, in general:
· Smile more. There is research that proves that if your carry your body in a certain way, it can change your mood. Smiling makes you more positive. Ask Amy Cuddy. Set the timer every 120 minutes and when the bell rings smile for a minute. See what happens after a week and after three weeks.
· Stand like Wonder Woman. No joke. This really also gives you the positive power and presence you might need today to get out there and “win one for the Gipper”. Try it—but perhaps at home or in the bathroom, not in front of those you will be presenting to. Do it every day for a minute at the beginning of your day and see what happens after a week, and after three weeks.
· Remember to Breathe - some even have a prepared response for when we are not breathing correctly. Oxygen is needed for clear thinking. Know how your body responds to stress and anxiety and then first and foremost, breathe.
· Notice your body and what it is doing when you get “stuck”. Then, turn your attention (your mind) to the outside environment: What am I seeing, smelling, and hearing (each one or two things)? This distracts you and gets your brain working positively again. There is also the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 grounding exercise if you are really stuck.
Look it up.For more help, give me an email.
I wish you a very hopeful week,
Patricia Jehle patricia@jehle-coaching.com
