December Blues?
How are you coping these dark days with maybe everyone around you seeming to be jolly and happy and you are just, well, stressed and tired and grumpy?
Maybe you are facing a change and that is a kind of loss. Or maybe you are stuck, and the dream of a positive future seems all but gone. Thant is also a great loss.
People grieve the cancellation fun activities, maybe because of the flu or covid, or…. Or the activity moves online and then it’s just not as “good” as it could have been and there is still loss.
Lots of loss. That loss must be grieved to move forward.
But there is also a lot of trauma happening around, there is a war going on nearby, and many others elsewhere. People are not doing well, and some have even taken their life because of depression.
There’s also trauma when you are cooped up in an apartment for days because there is nothing to do but work online (home office is not all it has promised to be). Or the weather is really awful or…
Then there’s the fear of getting “the plague”. That can also be traumatic. I know people who are totally stressed and can hardly function because of this. Some barely leave their homes.
My friend the therapist says it’s been very difficult for her clients, and I believe her.
Grief must be processed and that takes time. Time to take care of yourself. Time to heal and rest.
But the trauma? What can you do with your trauma?
Try journaling. Here are some steps:
JOURNALLING for healing from trauma:
• Write about the same topic for FOUR days for TWENTY minutes each day.
• Write continuously without stopping for those twenty minutes
• Write only for yourself (research says sharing it can be re-traumatizing)
• Follow the “Flip-out rule”: if you feel like you cannot write about a particular event because it might “push you over the edge”, don’t write. Only deal with events/situations you can handle at the time. When you are ready, you can write about your trauma, but not before.
• After those four days, review your writing for specific patterns, for if you have changed and for next steps.
These points are based on “Writing to Heal” by James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D.
If you want to find out more about how to deal with your grief and trauma, and your stress and resilience, don’t hesitate to contact me.
For work on stress, in general, try these ideas from Cerny Smith:
Here are some keys to dealing with stress:
First - Identify what is stressing you.
Second – Determine what you can do about the stress you are feeling.
Third – Determine what do you need to accept that you cannot change.
Fourth - Do something about it.
Using the “5-A’s” can significantly improve the impact of challenges to your life and values.
Avoid the situation
Alter the situation or its impact on you
Adapt to the new situation
Accept what you cannot change
Ask trusted others to provide their perspective
May you have a happier and healthier week – time in December and over the New Year,
Patricia Jehle
