What do you want, really?

Last weekend I wrote about new endeavors.

Do you need or want to start something new?  There are some steps involved in the process, even before it becomes “a THING”. To be successful, I suggested some ideas.

The first and most difficult part is to ask yourself this: What do you want?

The second question is what do you need?

These are two different questions and, depending on the circumstances, what you need will help determine what you want.

Let me give you an example from my village.  George is a refugee from Afghanistan, and he came to Switzerland as a young man, having grown up in a war-torn country. George had no post grammar-school education.  He chose to become a butcher. It was not what he wanted, but university would have been too “far away” from his goal, which was to become financially independent.  He has successfully finished his apprenticeship and has a great job, plus offers from other butcheries.

So, for this week we will look at what you want/need and think about it in terms of body, mind and soul.

Body is more about what you need: you need certain things (eg Maslow) like shelter, safety, food, a home – all of these things are for your body. Some are also for mind and/or soul.  For you mind you need work (which, if you are paid for it, it is also for feeding, clothing, and sheltering your body).  Work is what we want or need to survive. It keeps our brains active, hopefully.  A friend of mine who is approaching to wants to work to “be a part of the community, to be productive”. Your soul needs relationship(s) to survive.  It also wants that.  Your soul craves beauty, the creation, joy.  A recent student said we all need more joy and he is right.

What do you REALLY want?

So, let’s move on to what you want, and I have a little idea for you to try. For the next few days, try and notice when (and what) you want.  Write it down, if you can, and then review and reflect on your wants.

Take that and add this little task.  This will take some time to be alone and reflect.  After you have looked at the wants list and thought about it, ask yourself, “What is behind these wants that I am afraid to ask for?” Fear often stops us from our wants.  Is that fear a “valid” fear (like right now, there is fear of a drought, and there is war east of us… fear of those things are valid)? Or is that a fear of something that will most likely, never happen?

Take time to think about this question: If nothing could stop you, what would you want to be doing, where and with whom in two years’ time? Reflect.

I am thinking about this very thing as retirement is approaching. I love thinking about this.

If you want more help, or are stuck with the “what you want” question, email me.

Otherwise, have fun daydreaming!

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com

PS next time it’s all about your can do’s  and then the week after…