Grateful? Really?

It’s a season to be grateful, but what, in 2020, can we be grateful for?

There’s bad news all around at the moment, starting with a pandemic and ending with wars and rumors of wars, famine and floods.  Locally, there has been bad news, too:  a friend has yet more tumors, a few friends have lost their jobs, (who works in the helping service “industry”) says, “It’s November so you can expect the worst.”- and that’s without covid.

But this week is the USA’s biggest weekend celebration: Thanksgiving.  ‘Tis the season to be thankful, to be grateful.  But did you realize it would be good for your health and well-being to really take time and count your blessings?- even if you have to have a zoom Thanksgiving and Hannukah/Christmas.

Even though your (and my) life is sometimes hard, it is important to make that small shift from pity party to thankful thinking.  Sometimes this is hard, so I have purposefully thought of things that I am grateful for right now:

·      It’s (almost) sunny and there is not a drop of rain falling (and it’s not freezing at the moment).

·      Tomorrow I get to eat turkey and pumpkin pie with our nuclear family.

·      Even though it’s cold, I am warm, dry, fed and inside a heated and well-insulated building.  I am safe and there’s little need to go outside very often and face covid germs, and when I do I have a very good mask.

·      I have employment that pays the bills - and I have enough clients, too. (And I love my jobs!).

·      I am healthy and have been pretty healthy for quite a while, now.

·      I have friends and family who love and care for me- and I can depend on. 

·      Finally, I have sweet pets who show me love and attention, too.

Count your blessings and be grateful.

After this little exercise, I feel better, even with all the bad news in the world.  

I have taken my negative thought process and moved it to a positive one.  So, I am able now to look at the bad news from a place of gratefulness and calm and even better, help others to move from that place pf negativity to gratefulness. 

It’s a double blessing:  I am blessed and then I can help others, so I can be a blessing, to them (rather than a whiner bringing others down even more).

So, when something negative happens (or you read about something in the news): 

STOP

1)    THINK – What’s happening inside and outside of me?  What’s important about it?  What are my thoughts about this? What is my body telling me, too?

2)    FEEL – What emotions am I feeling?  Is it anger, fear, sadness?  Frustration? Weariness in the soul?

3)    REFLECT – What am I believing about the issue?  Is it (really) true, or is it a lie I am telling myself, or even just something unproven?  Or, as Brené Brown puts it so well, is it “a story I tell in my head”?

Also:

What can I do to change the issue – or can I  change myself?

Is my reaction appropriate for the situation (sometimes the emotion is weaker, stronger, or maybe just not the REAL one… and often, in cases of justice, for example, anger is very appropriate, just as sadness is appropriate for loss)- feel the feelings!

What can my next step or two be, right now? (maybe going through the process of feeling and thinking is enough for now, maybe adding a gratefulness exercise is also appropriate)

When can (or do I want to) make that next step or two?

BE grateful:

Finally, CONSIDER, what can I be grateful for right here and now?  How can I show myself that I am grateful?  How will others know that I am grateful, even in the midst of bad news?

The next day/ week/ month you can look back on the process and evaluate:  What went well, what might need improving and how can I do it?

IF nothing else remember, STOP, THINK, FEEL, REFLECT – and BE GRATEFUL.

Have a great time being thankful for the big and small blessings, even in the midst of 2020.

Patricia Jehle   patricia@jehle-coaching.com