Self-coaching and reflections

I am coaching myself this week – regarding trust, regarding seeing with new eyes and with ageism.

Trust has always been a bit of an issue with me, so I am being vulnerable, here. And lately a client has admitted that they were not being upfront with me, and they did not want to change really. Well, I can lead a horse to water, but the horse must choose to drink. I know change and growth are hard. I am working on change and growth, myself. But why spend time and money with me when you do not want to change, to grow?

Change is scary, is my first thought. If you change, you will cause problems- with your partner, with your “personal system”, with your friends…

So, this could be part of the problem.

But it could be that the client did not want to disappoint me. Or that the client wanted to be busy trying to change, but not really changing… or

That is what coaching supervision is for. I will address a supervisor and my intervision* group with this, and soon. If you, as a coach or supervisor do not have such reflection outlets, I highly recommend you find some soon! It is important for professionals in the helping business to have a reflective practice.

So, although I would like for my client to change into what they expressed at the beginning of the coaching session, I think it is time to stop with them for a while and let them stay where they are. I, on the other hand, am in charge of my own destiny and will take this as a learning point. I choose to see the situation with open eyes.

Then, of course, I do notice the difference in how people treat me now that I do not color my hair anymore. I am “a woman of a certain age” and that does make me more “invisible” and certainly what is seen on the coaching photos these days. It has become more difficult to get clients who are of a “younger” age, too. I find this quite interesting from a systemic point of view and aggravating to insulting from another point of view. Can I change the system? No, but I can change my attitude and refuse to be a “victim”. This I will also address with my intervision group soon.

As we move towards 2024, I am doing some reflection. 

It helps to bring about change.

I’m reflecting on my situations and accepting for it is, and then doing what I can about it.

What can you change for the better this month? 

Reflect on how things are going, accept life and those things for what they are—really accept them, don’t fight it. 

Then think about what your power is in all of this and effect a change on what you have power over.  Sometimes it is your response, sometimes it is more. 

Until further notice, I am focusing on the positive in this world, praying for my friends and thinking about next year with hope (keeping the PPFs in mind).

What are you reflecting on?

Have a great week reflecting and accepting the situation.

Patricia Jehle               patricia@jehle-coaching.com

 *intervision is a kind of collegial coaching/supervision together with a few co-professionals (in German). I belong to two separate groups to do this with.