Posts tagged change
Why Get a Coach when you Head into Retirement (or ANY change, really)?

Navigating the transition into your retirement can feel daunting, especially if you’re unsure how to structure this new phase of life.

This is where coaching comes in and I will continue coaching and supervision (and consulting/training) well past my retirement from teaching at the university.

I, as your coach provide guidance, support, and practical tools to help you design a fulfilling and purposeful post-career life. Here’s how coaching can make a difference in your next steps.

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What can you do in retirement that is cool? Read on!

But to continue my thoughts on retirement, here are some ways to make the most of it:

1. Be adventurous and ready to explore new Interests and passions

Retirement finally provides you the freedom to dive into old and new hobbies, interests, and passions that may have taken a backseat during your career.

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A very big transition for you and me: Retirement!

Are you retiring soon? I am semi-retiring at the end of this academic year; that means I will not be working for a university anymore, but will still be a coach, supervisor, trainer and consultant. It means I can order my life in a way I find more amenable to my needs and wants.

Retirement marks a significant life transition for you and for me—one that’s often met with both excitement and apprehension.

For decades, you may have structured your life around work, routines, and other responsibilities.

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Change and Transition can use a Coach

Life transitions are both inevitable and challenging. They offer you the potential for growth, but they also require support, guidance, and a strategic approach.

Coaching plays an essential role in helping you not only navigate but excel through these periods of change. With a coach, like me, the fear of the unknown can transform into excitement for the future, providing you with the foundation for a successful and fulfilling transition to the next stage in your life.

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What we know and think affect what we do and vice versa

How have you set up your life so that your habits help you to do what you know?

After all we can know what is good for us to eat, for example, and then go to McDonalds several times a month. We can know that exercise is good for us and then sit in front of the computer every evening after work. You get the idea.

Our minds are stronger than we think, though, so, not just what we know but what we think at any given moment can change our emotions and our direction.

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Change takes your whole brain

Recently I watched a TEDx talk by Esther van Fenema on limiting our freedom for health and happiness. How do we limit these bad choices we consistently make so we CAN be happier and healthier?

Ms. van Fenema said that four out of 10 cancers are cause by an unhealthy lifestyle (why do we still soke?) and she said that 45% of cardiovascular disease is caused by an unhealthy (sedentary and eating the wrong food) lifestyle.

But how do we change? Is it MIND over matter – yes, AND there is more. I have been reading a few books and neuroscience says that we also must engage our HARE brain for change. That is the fast part that we cannot just think our way into.

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That in-between (liminal) space

That in-between time

It’s hard

Liminal Space is what it is often called

“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind

There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…

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Your Next New Thing - it must be part of WHO you are!

What you do and say is important – for life, for your company, and work

It’s amazing how important it is to be what you (and your company, your company’s product, and its ramifications in life) present yourself as.

As a client of mine says, “It you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you have said. It makes life much easier.” She is so spot-on! I’ve been quoting her ever since she said this in a group supervision I was leading. I used the quote this past weekend with a friend who wants to encourage her son to be transparent at work.

I thought about it when a friend shared some of the struggles, she had been having with her (not truthful) spouse and how most everything comes down to being who you say you are. The inside and the outside match- no hiding.

I thought about it when sharing my own struggles with a few friends regarding the upcoming months and what is “on my plate” for work and life, and other things that cause me to pause and take note.

Be honest, I told myself, and I did. It’s about our integrity, one of the points on Goleman’s EQ list.

Integrity

If you are a person of integrity you are like this…

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Pivot

Some call it Pivot, others call it reinvention.

It’s always a (big) change.

It could be that a change of career or changing your business is needed.

Re-inventing Yourself - a necessity for many, especially for those over 50, but it’s vital for others, too, such as stay-at-home parents who are re-entering the job market and for those who discover that what they have trained for/studied for is no longer a need.

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In-between times: Liminal Spaces

Liminal Spaces

There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…

There are also emotional liminal spaces: graduation, illnesses, deaths of loved ones, job searches, divorce and separation, moving, waiting for that phone call,

COVID19…

and the Ukraine Crisis…

Though in-between times can be very difficult, there is something positive about this liminal space because we learn a lot about ourselves and our (negative and positive) patterns of coping in stressful situations.

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Reflecting TIME - Silence, Solitude and Retreat

When we are in a good place, take time to reflect and move forward

Maybe it’s time for solitude and a retreat from everyday life. Maybe it’s best to be alone and think.

When in a difficult place, take time out to reflect, recalibrate, make a plan, and then move forward

Last week I had a lovely time reconnecting with friends, and at the end of the week I went on a silent retreat to reflect on that and what I have been learning these past months.

When have you taken some solitude time to reflect – how long ago was it? How did it help you to think? How did it affect you afterwards, in your life?

What are some benefits of being in quiet for an extended time?

I can reconnect with myself and, as a fellow coaching friend says, “find my voice again”.

I can get creative and do what I want and need in this time.

I get R&R- and can come home re-energized and thankful for what I have and do but there’s much more.

I receive direction and clarity- what’s important to me now, and what will it be like in six months, a year, two years, etc.

I can see where things are going well and build on that and see where changes need to be made, and deal with them.

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Change takes bravery to go through it

We have had a ton of change

Some is easier than other kinds of change

When you are leaving home – for good

This blog repeats posting, especially in light of the Afghanistan (and possibly other upcoming) refugee situation.

I was in the USA and had had the opportunity of flying on a very special flight to Chicago.

Lessons learned

I can learn from this man; we all can.

He had already been able to overcome what seems insurmountable barriers, make important, if still very hard, decisions, and continue on his way to a new solution, a new place.

He had few illusions to the difficulties he would face ahead, but he believed that there was opportunity ahead and only death and destruction behind. He knew that his future was and still is in his hands and he had taken the responsibility seriously.

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Got a lot on your plate? Conflict? Change at work? Try this:

When you have change and conflict at work, what can you do and how can you make sure you are part of the solution(s), and not part of the problem(s)? Suggestions below:

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You may need to think about a change and reinvent yourself

When you are looking for a change of job or your business needs a change, it starts with reflection and moves to reinvention.

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Reflect and Accept- for real Change

When you reflect on your situation, really accept it for what it is, then you can use your reflections to change what is do-able.

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Strengths are gold and Weaknesses are silver: Silver and Gold

How do we grow? First self-discovery of strengths and them work on weaknesses. Use the strengths in crisis and learn to move in the direction of weaknesses for growth.

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Grow by making (and learning from) our mistakes

When we make mistakes, we can learn and grow from the experience.

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You can and may do it, no musts or should about it

To change your inner musts, it’s best to look at behavioral patterns, and injunctions.

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Changes and transitions: dealing with emotions

We have transitions and changes all our lives- here is how to deal with the emotions.

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