We all know the saying: Hurt people HURT people.
But do you know that Healed people HEAL people?
I was told this second phrase last week in a training evening, and I believe it to be true- healed people heal people.
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What are you reading?
What are you learning?
I have a friend who regularly greets her friends with the question, “What are you reading?”
This is one of my favorite questions because it assumes that the person is a learner and a reader.
I think we should be both. So, the second question that goes with the first is “What are you learning?”
That really leads to pre-questions:
· Why are you reading these books?
· What books are next in line?
· What are your goals?
· What books and articles are you reading that lead you to your goals?
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Use your strengths to work on your weaknesses
When you know your strengths, go in the opposite direction for growth. That means gently pushing towards your weaknesses, using your strengths as your basis, as your foundation.
For example, if you are big on doing things right all the time, allow yourself some slack but also keep doing (most things) right. OR- if you want to grow in your relationships and you are good at listening, try sharing and being more vulnerable for growth, at the same time, still asking good questions and practicing active listening.
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A slash is someone who has more than one career and usually at the same time, and who perhaps has made a second career out of a hobby or passion.
A slash can transition you from one stage in life to another or it can accompany your other career through most of your life.
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We have had a ton of change
Some is easier than other kinds of change
When you are leaving home – for good
This blog repeats posting, especially in light of the Afghanistan (and possibly other upcoming) refugee situation.
I was in the USA and had had the opportunity of flying on a very special flight to Chicago.
Lessons learned
I can learn from this man; we all can.
He had already been able to overcome what seems insurmountable barriers, make important, if still very hard, decisions, and continue on his way to a new solution, a new place.
He had few illusions to the difficulties he would face ahead, but he believed that there was opportunity ahead and only death and destruction behind. He knew that his future was and still is in his hands and he had taken the responsibility seriously.
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Healed people Heal people
So, what are you going to do? Join the grumpies and the people who yell, troll, and/or write nasty emails and even publicly “expose” people?
Are you going to be people who say, “I am going to hide in my hole till the mess is over”? It’s never over.
Or
Are we going to help people by looking for the best in others and to accept our personal responsibility for our hurtful ways, asking forgiveness and then moving on to better ways?
We can only change ourselves and our attitudes.
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How is happiness attained?
1. In a job well-done (and if at all possible, within the time and financial constraints)
2. In (finally) reaching a goal
But also in:
· Healthy activity for mind, body and soul (and all the underlying goals to be reached)
· Good (safe, fun, reliable) relationships where I can be myself and share myself
· Doing good to others, especially “strangers” (no kidding!)
· Being grateful for the past, savoring the present and looking to the future with hope
· Being happy about your job and what that job contributes to “the greater good”
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Ury’s 6-Step Model:
1. Put yourself in your own shoes
2. Develop your inner BATNA
3. Reframe your picture of the situation
4. Stay in the Zone
5. Respect them, even if…
6. Give and Receive
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How are you getting ready for the fall?
Are your emails paired down and ready for responses? Do you code/color-code them for “triage” and potential clients?
What about your to-do list(s)? Do you keep your old lists to make sure you haven’t out something under the pile of papers for too long?
What is your calendar like?
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Downsizing at the beginning of the fall/school year is a god thing (I will be doing this later, but for us here in the Argovian countryside, school began this morning).
Sometimes it’s time to downsize and also to look in new directions in our life. Maybe it’s time to make a list or two to remember what’s really important.
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Transition(s) and Change(s)
Make for Loss
Which has to be grieved
There’s been a lot going on for most of us since March 2020. We’ve experienced extreme loss and change; we have hopefully grieved each of these losses well so that we can move on.
Change equals loss
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In conflict and stressful situations…
When you say, write or do something you want to take back, what can you do?
Be humble
Admit your fault
Apologize sincerely
Start again anew
All this is good, but it may not change long-instilled negative patters.
When you want learn to change your negative responses, what can you do? You can STOP and be SOBER.
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Gen Z
Zoomer
Post Millennial—
· Ambitious, Digital Natives, Content-oriented
· Like comfort and flexibility
· Curious and open
· Socially and politically aware and active (but not in traditional ways)
· Start-ups and side hustles are the name of the game (and financial independence is the goal)
· Want their freedom
Does this fit your picture of the Zoomers you know?
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I am reading a book called, “Useful Delusions”, which talks about how our mind plays tricks on ourselves to help us be more resilient. One of the research-based sections is on optimism and how optimists live longer. Sorry for those of you who don’t use your rose colored glasses very much. Dust them off and try to remember the positives in life and be grateful for them. Here some ideas: Be grateful, stand like Wonder Woman and smile more often.
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Avoid awfulizing, us vs. them, and scarcity mindset thinking when making decisions to be successful.
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Are you trying to make a decision about something and just can’t get past some of the “ish” factors? Or are you talking yourself into something that maybe you (or your trusted network) might not feel so right about- maybe you are wanting to just get that first deal? ALSO: Loss aversion can derail our plans, our business, our life. It makes us focus too much on the short-term and not the long-term. We tend to give up on things that we see as loss to us especially when we apply great meaning to that thing, whatever it might be. We need to remember to always think long-term.
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When we are dealing with feedback you can either take it seriously and try to change or you can blame “the circumstances beyond your control” and avoid doing anything.
Sometimes, granted, the circumstances are beyond our control: covid, lockdowns, shifts in market demand are all beyond our control. But how we respond to them is pretty much under our control.
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When we make good choices, we want to be aware of our biases and think more clearly. Here are ideas to make better decisions:
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Our biases can damage our decision-making process and even endanger our plans, projects and companies
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We all are learning beings.
Life is all about learning.As a child we learn to speak and walk and soon enough we are running and chatting away… The main idea is to be open to feedback and even criticism, looking for even wee grains of truth. We all have something to learn. Let us keep on learning, even if we think “I know this”.
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