Ury’s 6-Step Model:
1. Put yourself in your own shoes
2. Develop your inner BATNA
3. Reframe your picture of the situation
4. Stay in the Zone
5. Respect them, even if…
6. Give and Receive
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How are you getting ready for the fall?
Are your emails paired down and ready for responses? Do you code/color-code them for “triage” and potential clients?
What about your to-do list(s)? Do you keep your old lists to make sure you haven’t out something under the pile of papers for too long?
What is your calendar like?
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this gives us all a chance to think of how to make our working environment more positive, in general. Maybe I can be a friend so someone (unfortunately my work “best friend” recently retired, and now I would like to find someone, which isn’t always easy, as it is chemistry, etc.)- so, I wish you a god time reflecting and moving forward at work.
Finally, maybe you are still under lockdown or afraid that it will happen again at any time, if this is the case, what on the list can best help you deal with that uncertainty. Learning to deal with the uncertainty in life is the best we can do at this time.
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How can we go into the fall with a calm and resolute heart to move forward positively?
First, decide not to decide (too much).
For sure, we need to keep moving.
Also, keep on planning.
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Downsizing at the beginning of the fall/school year is a god thing (I will be doing this later, but for us here in the Argovian countryside, school began this morning).
Sometimes it’s time to downsize and also to look in new directions in our life. Maybe it’s time to make a list or two to remember what’s really important.
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Transition(s) and Change(s)
Make for Loss
Which has to be grieved
There’s been a lot going on for most of us since March 2020. We’ve experienced extreme loss and change; we have hopefully grieved each of these losses well so that we can move on.
Change equals loss
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Our values are important and following them is one of the keys to success (and even happiness).
When our actions (and words) come into alignment with our core values, life is generally good, and we feel content, confident and satisfied. But when our behaviors don’t match up with our values, we soon begin to experience a sense of uneasiness and discomfort in our soul (mind and emotions). We are not living out of authenticity. We are not full of integrity. We need to know our whys, as Simon Sinek says so well.
Making a deliberate and conscious attempt to identify which of our core values are of greatest importance to us, is crucial if we are to keep your anxiety levels low and our sense of self-awareness high.
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In conflict and stressful situations…
When you say, write or do something you want to take back, what can you do?
Be humble
Admit your fault
Apologize sincerely
Start again anew
All this is good, but it may not change long-instilled negative patters.
When you want learn to change your negative responses, what can you do? You can STOP and be SOBER.
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Gen Z
Zoomer
Post Millennial—
· Ambitious, Digital Natives, Content-oriented
· Like comfort and flexibility
· Curious and open
· Socially and politically aware and active (but not in traditional ways)
· Start-ups and side hustles are the name of the game (and financial independence is the goal)
· Want their freedom
Does this fit your picture of the Zoomers you know?
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What makes good communication? It’s complicated to communicate, but it’s do-able.
Good communication is askill and art to be learnedthrough practice, knowledge and sometimes, through coaching.
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Are you part of a circular (or sharing) economy? Do you want to learn more about this and the research behind these concepts?
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When I teach negotiation, I pull out the Six Principles of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini (a professor and sociologist) and we discuss two things: the students’ own experience with being persuaded (or not) and how they might use these principles in negotiations and at work, in general.
Here are the big six:
· Reciprocity
· Scarcity
· Authority
· Consistency
· Consensus
· Liking (people)
Let me explain each one and how they may be used “against” you to be persuaded and even (gasp) manipulated.
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We all have fears, and fear is normal. We are made to have fear so we run away from imminent danger.
But sometimes our fear goes “sideways” and comes out in the “wrong place.
Sometimes we are afraid of the wrong things.
Sometimes fear overwhelms and gets us in a stuck place.
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Avoid awfulizing, us vs. them, and scarcity mindset thinking when making decisions to be successful.
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Are you trying to make a decision about something and just can’t get past some of the “ish” factors? Or are you talking yourself into something that maybe you (or your trusted network) might not feel so right about- maybe you are wanting to just get that first deal? ALSO: Loss aversion can derail our plans, our business, our life. It makes us focus too much on the short-term and not the long-term. We tend to give up on things that we see as loss to us especially when we apply great meaning to that thing, whatever it might be. We need to remember to always think long-term.
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When we are dealing with feedback you can either take it seriously and try to change or you can blame “the circumstances beyond your control” and avoid doing anything.
Sometimes, granted, the circumstances are beyond our control: covid, lockdowns, shifts in market demand are all beyond our control. But how we respond to them is pretty much under our control.
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When we make good choices, we want to be aware of our biases and think more clearly. Here are ideas to make better decisions:
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Our biases can damage our decision-making process and even endanger our plans, projects and companies
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We all are learning beings.
Life is all about learning.As a child we learn to speak and walk and soon enough we are running and chatting away… The main idea is to be open to feedback and even criticism, looking for even wee grains of truth. We all have something to learn. Let us keep on learning, even if we think “I know this”.
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When you have change and conflict at work, what can you do and how can you make sure you are part of the solution(s), and not part of the problem(s)? Suggestions below:
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