Posts in Change
Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays! Here is part of the Jehle Coaching Annual Report: I am looking for two (maximum) MORE/NEW clients in February 2024 (and some additional training days here and there)

At this very moment in December and through January, I am full-up and cannot take any new clients. But as of the end of January I will have more space as I only each one class, so very soon I will be able to make space and time for new clients. 

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Let is eat or talk about that elephant

Recently my thoughts have been inundated with elephants- on the internet there is a cute baby elephant chasing birds, for example and my daughter loves it.  The metaphors using elephants are also in my face these days, namely eating elephants and elephants in “living rooms”.

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Self-coaching and reflections

That is what supervision is for. I will address a supervisor and my intervision* group with this, and soon. If you, as a coach or supervisor do not have such reflection outlets, I highly recommend you find some soon! It is important for professionals in the helping business to have a reflective practice.

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Some motivation for you

The Sky is the limit!

Here’s a little thinking exercise to keep that positive emotion going more:

·      First, think about how you are feeling- start with the joy or hope

 

·      Then think about where you feel the feeling in your body. 

 

·      How does that feeling feel in your body?

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Start - just DO it!

Keep on going! You and your startup matters!

Startups are hard, but worth it!

I can tell you from my own experience, so here are some ideas to keep your startup business sustainable.

Who are YOUR people? What is YOUR business? Where is the MONEY going to come from? Who is on YOUR team? What will sustain YOUR ups and downs? Consider getting a coach.


 

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Reflect on your habits and thoughts for happiness and well-being

Besides taking care of your body, there are three (plus one) other things we can learn to do more:  be grateful, savor the present moment (and be mindful), and have a positive hope for the future.  (Those PPFs, again!)

The “plus one” is having a few close relationships. 

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News - mine and what is yours?

I have had several things on the burner, and not much on the back burner, so it has been a juggling process since the beginning of September and it will continue this month, but November looks free-er and I will have time for new clients and different projects.

First, there was theEASCannual general meeting and then the online congressshortly afterwards. I, of course, participated in both as a board member and I alsogave a workshopon resilience, burnout and sustainable work

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What have you been reading lately?

A friend asked me for recommendations on Mentoring books las Saturday. I went to my library and pulled out two books I have read… but now I want to focus on recent books I have read for recommendations.

Reading books brings me joy, especially during holidays where I sit and read and read and...

I have read or finished quite a few books this past holiday time in Tenerife and Minnesota(and I am still reading, but at a slower pace), and I want to share some highlights in case you need or wish for something new to read.

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Tips to Overcome Our Perfectionism This Summer

Last night I heard a great sermon on “creators, choosers and consumers” and how at any given time of our life we can be one of these types of people. It was thought provoking!

This sermon led me to think about Covey’s “Circle of Control Model” and perfectionism.

Covey says we should focus on what we can do and what we can influence. That concept really helps with perfectionism. Read on for more thoughts on how to stop perfectionism:

I once went to a meeting where some local women professionals discussed perfectionism and how it affects our lives at work and at home. 

Some of us were affected at work, others at home, some both.  Some of us also had perfectionist partners and we talked about how that hurt our relationships and our family life. It was a great evening of sharing, mostly because we didn’t stop at the negative, but looked for solutions.

Here were some of the solutions we came up with:

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How do I act on what I know?

How can I do what I teach and “preach”? As a coach and supervisor and as an educator with a Master’s in teaching, I “know” a lot. But do I practice what I know and how do I do it? What about you? Is there a disconnect between what you do and what you know (you should do)?

Last week at my Inter-Vision group discussed this topic, and we reminded ourselves that maturity is a life-long process. Hopefully, we are all better than yesterday and tomorrow we will be better still. We know a lot but practicing it is not always easy.

Let’s start with emotional regulation and integrity.

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Resilience and emotions

How can I manage my emotions?

Do my emotions have to do with resilience?

The short answer is yes. For better resilience, we need to manage our emotions better.

First we have to notice and name our emotions. With that awareness you are already half way there to better resilience.

KEEP AN EMOTION “Log Book”

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Lower stress with the H.I.T. List method

A while ago I got together with coaching and supervision colleagues and I was reminded of one of my favorite (negotiation and decision) interventions:  The H.I.T. list, where you have three questions:

·      What is your Have-to-have?

·      What do your Intend (or would like) to have? And

·      What can (or must) you Trade ( or give up) to get your Have-to-have (for sure) and possibly your Intend to have?

When you think about this, then you can decide what is not on these lists, and discard - or delegate.

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Reframe (shift) your thinking for resilience

For a better mindset – shift your focus and shift the viewpoint. This will cause you to be more resilient.

Shift: what I see and how I see it.

Doing the hard thingis

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Attitude and Assumption Check-up

Attitude is (almost) everything. And, of course our thoughts and attitude are quite intertwined.

Are you a quitter?  I bet you aren’t!  But negative assumptions and attitudes can creep into your working life quite easily because negativity is catchy!

So, have you been thinking any of the following lately:

·      I’m too stressed.  Stress is getting me down.

·      There is no way to move forward.

·      I can’t get any new clients, let alone keep the old ones.

·      My products are so-so…

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Keep from burning out (how to)

You can’t slow down, maybe.

You are always working.

When are you moving towards burnout and how can you get help?

Set work boundaries but try to find (more) meaning at work, especially the hours and days. Take days off. Take holidays.

Meet with friends and family (that give you energy).

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Relationships Build Resilience

One of the big parts of stress is something that you can control: how resilient are you?

Start with your relationships, for one!

Research has shown that mutually supportive relationships are key to stress reduction and resilience. 

What does a good relationship look like? How do I develop and grow in my relationships?

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What can you Do when you are stressed for a LONG time?

how do I know what I can change in a stressful situation - what I have to deal with - and live through?

Let’s begin with some things you can do, even when the stress is not ongoing.

First, when you see that the programme is too full or is getting too full for your liking, try to, if you possibly can, put in time buffers.  Do it ahead of time.  Say you see that the next few weeks are full of ”heavy duty” activity, then do not plan something in the evenings, if possible – even if it is a fun activity and plan only fun activities (and one per day) at the weekend. This will help keep your brain and body from being on overdrive.

Learn to say no and feel good about it.

I am very serious about that.

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What kind(s) of stress do you have? What can you do?

Long Term (or ongoing) Stress is the most difficult for us to have as it affects our bodies and minds (& spirits) more.

I have a few clients with long term stress and they are suffering.

Here are some symptoms:

·       You are always tired and rather forgetful

·       You are irritable and maybe self-medicate to stay afloat

·       You have physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, stiff muscles (especially in the neck, shoulders and jaw), stomach and other digestive problems, and sexual dysfunction

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Stress is often what you do with it: good or bad responses

So, what is there to do when under stress:

·      Manage Stress like it’s like diabetes (Type 2)- eat and exercise in a healthy manner.

·      Get enough rest and relaxation and have good sleep hygiene.

·      Talk about it and enjoy your relationships with friends and family.

·      See stress in a positive way (reframe it).

·      Pause before acting and reflect!

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That in-between (liminal) space

That in-between time

It’s hard

Liminal Space is what it is often called

“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind

There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…

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