What can you Do when you are stressed for a LONG time?

how do I know what I can change in a stressful situation - what I have to deal with - and live through?

Let’s begin with some things you can do, even when the stress is not ongoing.

First, when you see that the programme is too full or is getting too full for your liking, try to, if you possibly can, put in time buffers. Do it ahead of time. Say you see that the next few weeks are full of ”heavy duty” activity, then do not plan something in the evenings, if possible – even if it is a fun activity and plan only fun activities (and one per day) at the weekend. This will help keep your brain and body from being on overdrive.

Learn to say no and feel good about it.

I am very serious about that.

What kind(s) of stress do you have? What can you do?

Long Term (or ongoing) Stress is the most difficult for us to have as it affects our bodies and minds (& spirits) more.

I have a few clients with long term stress and they are suffering.

Here are some symptoms:

· You are always tired and rather forgetful

· You are irritable and maybe self-medicate to stay afloat

· You have physical symptoms such as headaches, body aches, stiff muscles (especially in the neck, shoulders and jaw), stomach and other digestive problems, and sexual dysfunction

That in-between (liminal) space

That in-between time

It’s hard

Liminal Space is what it is often called

“The word "liminal" comes from the Latin word “limen,” which means threshold. To be in a liminal space means to be on the precipice of something new but not quite there yet. You can be in a liminal space physically, emotionally, or metaphorically. Being in a liminal space can be incredibly uncomfortable for most people.“ – Verywellmind

There are physical liminal spaces: waiting rooms at the doctor’s office, airport terminals, airplanes in flight, hallways, bridges, in the car driving somewhere, and doorways…

You need oxygen to survive and thrive

There are many ways to prevent burnout and to increase resilience. Increasing resilience.

Usually it starts with a wee “no”.

Maybe you even still must “do it”, but hopefully your boss or co-worker has finally heard that you actually do not want to do something. Maybe they will think a second time before just assuming you will do that thing.

Get you to-do list done - with a question word

Checking off that to-do list fast enough?

I am chugging through my list, but must remember the BIGGER things, too.

Like making time for work (and personal) reflection.

Like preparing for a talk on connection, communication (and, of course, conflict)

Like writing (and reading)

Like preparing next year’s school lectures

How do you plan on getting things done?

Do you make time for reflection – at the end of the day, at the end/beginning of the week, at the end of the month and year?

But in the end, keeping one word in my “view” at all times, really helps me get things done - maybe it will help you, too!

Mind changing

Do you want to change someone’s mind?

I am thinking about just that…

What do they want is important

BUT why they want it is more important.

Not only do you need to know your own whys, but finding out their whys is very likely a key to success

Be a winner and be positive - especially with regards to others

…“tough-minded optimism” – is a blend of creativity in ideas, strong convictions about what works and about doing things for the “common good”, and resilience, especially when it comes to the need for change. To quote, “The future is not shaped by people who don’t really believe in the future,”…

Do what you can - and a Happy Lunar New Year°!

It is what it is … or is it?

What can we control?

What can we influence?

What is out of our control?

What we can control (usually) is my response to what I can influence and what I cannot control.

Happy New Year! What are you reading? This is what I am reading:

What are you reading?

Two books I read for my upcoming talk on Stronger Network THIS WEEK: (https://www.strongernetwork.com/strongerconference ) are Lost and Founder by Rand Fishkin and Rework by Freid and Hansson.

I am reading a few books on connection and human relationships for a talk later on in 2023, too: Belonging by Geoffrey Cohen, Connections (again) by Larry Crabb, and The Love Prescription by John and Julie Gottman. There may be other books I read, if I have time.

In 2022 I read The Extended Mind by Annie Paul and I am still reading Radical Leadership by Sprenger (with a client)

What has emotional intelligence got to do with virtues?

We have talked about the seven deadly sins, and their “opposites”, the seven virtues and now I want to tie in EQ – Emotional Intelligence.

But what is Emotional Intelligence? It is composed of four areas:

1. Self-awareness (know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses- this could be the virtue of humility)

2. Self-management (this would include the virtues of diligence, temperance, and chastity)

3. Social awareness (this would include the virtues of charity/good works and kindness)

4. Relationship management (this would be the virtue of patience but also include the virtues of charity/good works and kindness)

Seven Virtues for modern society

Last time I talked about the seven deadly sins and how they are pernicious in our present culture. Now I want to talk about the opposites and how to cultivate them in our lives and promote them in society. First, here are the deadly sins once more:

Sins: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, envy, wrath, and pride.

The virtues to cultivate are:

chastity, temperance, charity (or good works/love in action), diligence, kindness, patience, and humility.

Business Coaching, Coaching, Goals, Growth, Plans, Reflection, Success, SupervisionPatricia JehleDecember 13, 2022Jehle Coachingvirtues, vices, sins, EQ, Emotional Intelligence, ethicsComment

All the best for the holidays – and a surprise REFLECTION exercise at the end

Here’s my annual blog with the traditional addendum of a time of personal reflection for you at the end. I hope your year has been as full and profitable as mine!

Here are some of my recent activities:

· General business coaching and career coaching (including transitions)

· Start-up coaching

· Leadership Supervision

· General Supervision mostly in my “intervision” groups (yes, I attend two, now)

· Burnout and Resilience Coaching and Supervision

· Executive and management coaching, specifically for owners and leaders of SMEs ….

You can do it - self-efficacy is important for resilience

Self-efficacy is a key part of resilience.

So, what’s your S-E Quotient? Your SE-Q?

Here’s some theory for the nosy part of us all:

Do you know what your Self-Efficacy Quotient is?Well, you should care about it and know generally at what level it is.

Moving Forward and Giving Thanks

How are you moving forward this and next week?

This is, most likely, your last push before the holiday crush and then it’s the holiday break.

So, how do you decide what is most important, next important, etc.

Do you know which activities bring you the most clients/customers, or financial turnover? Do those activities.

The rest of your to-dos can fall away till January.

Make sure your WHY is in the decision-making process, too.

Look at your fears and move on to success

Maybe you have all your ducks in a row, but something seems to be stopping you from moving forward? Is there something intangible slowing down your business?

Maybe you have inner conflicts with yourself that need addressing so you can start moving forward again.

A while ago week I read a wonderful book by negotiation expert Professor Dr. William Ury of Harvard Business School called Getting to Yes with Yourself and I found some treasures to help us out of those stuck places in business and in life.

Here’s Ury’s 6-Step Model…

Keeping at your Main Thing

Shiny objects and Rabbit holes – “fun” distractions that keep you from the Main Thing

Sometimes in a workday, especially for those who have the double-sided coin of flexible choices of what to do when, we are easily distracted by things that draw us from our “One Thing” or “Best thing”.

A person wrote me today and said that his answer to the question ofwhat is an Entrepreneur's "Achille's Heel"“I think it's loosing focus and spending too much time on things which are not relevant for customers. “

Success - how to:

Let’s consider success:

What do you want, really?

Will it be the same in five years? In ten? Fifteen? Twenty years?

How do those answers to the first question help you to make your decision about your next steps?

What will you value when you are 45? 50? 55? 60? …?

But back to the question: what do you really want?

Do you need or want to start something new?

There are some steps involved in the process, even before something new becomes “a THING”.

To be successful, here are some points to think about.

· Make mistakes and learn

· Do something new and learn

· Own what you do

· It’s all about your development as a human being

· Keep on being your responsible authentic self

· Remember it’s all about community and adding value to the “world”

Try again - and learn when you make a mistake

Failure- it’s good, not bad – and failure at work is not likely to demotivate

Have you made some (work) mistakes, well, good!

You’re human. So am I! That’s wonderful, btw! We humans make mistakes and fail sometimes.

It is not the mistake or the failure that is the problem.

The problem is not learning from them, or even sometimes, not being willing to make any mistakes, to be outside of your comfort zone. Then you don’t move- and certainly don’t change.

Learning how to avoid failures from previous ones is one way to get ahead. Below you will find a list of 10 causes of failure focusing on leaders, which is taken from Napoleon Hill and some ideas for 2022-23 – it’s a bit edited for a more modern way of thinking.

What do I do, actually?

As some of you know, I blog BUT actually, I am a lecturer and trainer, a business coach, supervisor and a spiritual director. The next two blogs will be about supervision vs. coaching, starting with supervision.

What is Supervision, after all?

Supervision is a relational process of personal development where the client(s)become aware of and reflect on and then develop their personal resources for positive change both regarding themselves and their work environment.

Grateful to such ned in October with the PPF Model®

I am Looking Forward and Dealing with Today – being grateful in everything.

I hope you remember the PPFs model. Past-Present-Future.

Remember and be grateful for the past, even the hard times.

Savor the present – the good and the hard parts.

Look forward to the future with hope and anticipation.

Jehle Coaching Blog - What I’m thinking and doing (what’s new)…

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